Who Could Have Thought?

Who could have thought? Who could have thought that my dad would turn out to be suicidal? Who could have thought that one day I, myself, would sit down and talk to him? Who could have thought that after all these years of no communication, I would actually get along with my dad? Who could have thought that even though he can be very stubborn at times, we would actually get along on something? Who could have thought that on the other side of the street there would be this guy? Who could have thought that we would actually become friends? Who could have thought that we would believe in the same thing? – Hope – Who could have thought that he, as well, had a lot of problems? Who could have thought that we would become friends? Who could have thought that I would actually care about him – a guy from the neighborhood? Who could have thought that after all these years that have passed by, we would actually talk again? Who could have thought that I would be writing again?

I almost gave up writing. Yes. Even though it made me feel so much better about myself. I gave it up for a while. However, I am no quitter. So here I am again. I am writing this after this sinister period that has passed by. I almost lost my father, twice in a week. We never really cared for him because he never actually talked to us. It was like he was there but not “there”. I needed him for every second of my childhood till now. I never found him. Now, he needs me and I will be “there”. We could call a professional to help us, but we think it is best to start with showing a little care before we go to that next step. Other than financial disabilities, we think that dad could actually use a little bit of caring from our side. We never really understood why he did this. He was sad that mom wasn’t taking care of him anymore. She has her reasons. That warrior that she is, emerged for a reason. She is the strongest woman I have ever known with all that she’s been through.

I had a friend whom I used to talk to a lot back in the days. We got in a fight twice, yet we talked again. You know how some people come back into your life and you let them without even realizing it at first. That’s what happened with him, twice! It’s like every time we stop talking, we talk again a year later for example. Two people who cannot stay apart apparently. I found out some bad things that have been going on with him as well. However, the good part is that he’s changed. He’s changed into a very positive person who actually has a dream to catch. He turned out to be a very ambitious person. I admire that and encourage it fully.

No matter what you are going through, stay positive, be strong and go on. Life does. It won’t stop for you. It will actually go on and you will miss a lot of it if you just sit in that bubble of yours and mourn whatever you have lost or didn’t get. Just say “if it’s meant to be, it will find its way”. If not, then the hell with it. If you have lost a person that is very dear to you, please don’t just keep mourning for the rest of your life. I know it is very sad, I, myself, am about to tear by just remembering my dearest uncle who passed away a year ago. Nonetheless, I know that he is here for me, right next to me. He is watching over me and will forever be my guardian angel. He always hated seeing me sad when he was alive. I’m sure the feeling is still the same now that he is gone. So I will make him proud. I will stay positive no matter what happens. I will stay strong and I will work to achieve my dreams. Dream – Believe – Hope – Achieve. Always.

Now that felt good. I am never giving up on writing ever again. It’s like I had this weight on my chest and now it’s gone. I have said it all. Of course, there are some more things but these are to be left a secret between me, myself and I.

Stay positive. Stay Strong.

“Provehito in Altum”

Never EVER give up.

Life can be tough but you are stronger than that. You can make it. You will make it.

Love always.

JJ.